FINALLY!!!!!

What the heck?!?
I have been trying to get this blog out for about a week!!! Every time I go to write, I am just stumped.
So I am just going to write and barf my thoughts on here. That seems to be a good idea.

This week was interesting. If anybody is like me, they have bouts of discouragement at times. This week was weird in that aspect for me. Although I am 100% confident that I am on the right path, that hint of doubt and discouragement tries to make its way in. Not a chance I feed into that nonsense. Don't give doubt and discouragement your time and energy and let it manifest in your life!

I am not sure how to really articulate these next thoughts but here goes...
I have had some level of revelation about relationships in my life. I would say confidently that I am satisfied with where I am at right now. I think of 1 Corinthians 7:32 in this line of thinking.

1 Corinthians 7:32: I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him.

The early part of 1 Corinthians is heavy on marriage. I look at this verse and just have to agree wholeheartedly. I am not married obviously. Really, I am in no form of a relationship whatsoever. Like I said above, I am not saddened by this fact but perfectly content with where God wants me. The season of life I am in right now is exciting. It allows me to pour into people, grow deeper in my love for the Lord, work on myself and mature (much needed) It's all perspective!

However, I suppose it is time for a bit of self-disclosure here...

I honestly would love nothing more than to find out who I am supposed to marry. Who the Lord has ordained and created perfectly for me. The woman who possesses the very things that will complete who I am. That is an exciting proposition.

However, in this desire and in my questioning, I've realized that God is one of order and detail (I Corinthians 14:33) I look at His nature and know that in order for me to be in His perfect will, certain things must fall into place in His time. The key here is being in His perfect will, not simply His permissive will for my life. If I want His best, then I have to get myself out of the way.

So where does this leave me?

I am not sure if I am unusual in this aspect but I have a list I wrote out of attributes and characteristics that I am believing the Lord for in my wife. I have altered this list quite a few times and earlier this week as I was spending time with the Lord, I took a look at it. I crossed off a few things that I felt were unnecessary and then I was prompted to take about 90% of it and trash it!! I felt so strongly the Lord saying that "She will be what I need"

For a long time, I had a notion that I would automatically know who I was supposed to marry because she'd appear out of nowhere and a heavenly beam would engulf her as doves set off fireworks around us. (not quite that crazy I suppose). If anybody is believing/praying/fasting for a husband/wife, then I'm sure they can attest to the profound mystery behind everything.

Sometimes I think back to blogs I wrote in the past and expand on some thoughts I had. Almost a year or so ago, I wrote this...click. I mostly want to pick out ONE WORD in ONE VERSE in that old blog that until recently had not stood out to me. It's cool to get this kind of revelation!

Proverbs 31:10: Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.

Hmmm OK, so Proverbs 31:10 asks, "who can FIND a virtuous can capable wife?"

Proverbs 18:22 says...The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.

Wow, these two verses completely and utterly changed my thinking. It is a responsibility of mine to find the wife the Lord has for me. She's not just going to magically appear! The prospect of that responsibility is exciting as I work hand in hand with the Lord regarding who that is. Testing, discerning, believing that He will give me the guidance. He's great like that!

So here is really been my consuming thought (finally!)

I always had a notion that I was trying to find somebody that was suitable for me (not in a stuck up, selfish perspective). However, I've realized that it's me that I need to work on!! (think about that) I need to be what she needs!!
It's me that needs to grow. It's me that needs to hear the voice of my Father even better. It's me that needs to learn to serve better. It's me that needs to be more patient and understanding.
That blew my world up!!
This year is about GROWTH. Working on me. Delighting myself in the Lord and fully focused on what He wants.
Things will fall into place at the right time.


Thanks for reading!!