Human Lobster

So I was thinking randomly about a story that happened to my brothers a while back and then remembered something crazy that happened that has nothing to do with that story but is quite a fine story in itself. That makes no sense but I'm going to tell that second story because it is a story that needs to be told. (what am I talking about??)
A little while back, we took a vacation to the fine state of Florida. The normal trend that seemed to be taking place regarding our Florida excursions was this: go to a resort, swim, go to an amusement park, swim some more, go home. I'd say pretty normal.
My parents decided they wanted to stay on the beach so we got a place by the beach one year. The next year came and again, we were by the beach. So that's pretty much where this story takes place.
It was the summer before I was about to leave for college. We get down to Florida and I was like, "Yeah, I'm getting tan." Friends, that should never be a goal as you'll see.
Anyway, I think to myself, "what would be the fastest way to get bronze?" again, no.
Normally my skin burns and then in a day or so, tans so I figured I could get pretty crispy one day and boom, the next day I'd be tan.
In retrospect, that was pretty unwise. Also unwise is my next decision...
I'm about to head out with my brothers to begin my quest. Again, in my tan-oriented state of mind I assumed that using the LEAST amount of sun screen would also be beneficial. I think it was safe to say I was not thinking with any ounce of wisdom...
True words, I literally used a dime-sized amount of sun screen..................FOR MY ENTIRE BODY.....WHAT???
That was my first mistake......wouldn't be my last
So we get out there and really just completely disregarding my brother's advice to turn sides every 20 minutes, (I guess he was giving me tan advice) I proceed to FALL ASLEEP.........FOR 3 HOURS!!!!!
I wake up, bright, bright red, and go inside. I probably should have taken notice to the fact that water hitting my skin was excruciating but i figured it would be all good the next day. Well, it turns out things were definitely not all good the next day. I had a summer football workout program from Central Missouri so I struggled to put on a shirt and went down to the weight room where we were staying. I think I realized things were not good after about 3 seconds.
I was burned so bad that I had to stay inside the whole vacation. I laid on my back in nothing but boxer shorts everyday for a week. My eye lids were even torched so it hurt just to have my eyes open.
If you've ever seen the old school Willy Wonka movie and can remember the grandparents who were in bed for like 20 years. That was me.
It was kinda terrible....actually really terrible. And my dad thought it was cool to video tape my agony. It's pretty fun watching that...
After a while my skin started to blister and of course, after that my skin started to peel and that was just not right. It was a snow storm every time I took my shirt off. I think I had tan lines for like a year.
So yea, that's the story...not good times, don't want to do it again, don't fall asleep on the beach.