Challenges

It's interesting to look back at things that you have "accomplished" and wondered why???
For some strange reason I was thinking about high school and the ridiculous feats of consumption we'd attempt...they were pretty dumb and painful..as you'll see
I think the most famous of our "challenges" was the Gallon Challenge. For those of you who do not know what the GC is let me enlighten you...
Basically, the gallon challenge pits you against a whole gallon of milk in 60 minutes or it could be one hour, not sure.....(JOKE) Anyway, this challenge is quite a doozy and few have accomplished this. I have seen one upstanding citizen drop a whole gallon of WHOLE milk in under 10 minutes and be completely unfazed by it....now that is something to see.
Let me give you a little insight to my experience with the gallon challenge to prove how deadly it is.
First off though, I am lactose intolerant...strange? yes...embarrassing? possibly...so the relationship I have with milk is pretty rocky to begin with. We don't get along and probably never will...To spare you the details, anytime I drink a lot of milk, my stomach makes sounds similar to that of a rooster that got its head caught in a vacuum (I've never actually heard that but it seems fitting) it's pretty bad...what's worse is what comes after those noises (gross) yes, very gross....OK so that's the side story...
So, I decided to try the gallon challenge a few times. The first time I did it, I got about 3/4 the way through the gallon and was feeling ungood (not a word)...then I blew chunks everywhere....then about 7 hours later give or take, I had a date with the toilet...much like this...
The second time I tried it ( yes, I actually tried it again) I got like 4 drinks in and just stopped. my stomach was killing me. I felt like I had a bag of flour in my stomach ( whatever that means) and then the last time (still yes, tried again) it was the last night of my freshman year of college and I dropped some major barfage into the toilet that night as well.....so all in all, I'd say just don't even try it...
Now there have been a few other challenges that have a special place of honor....
I guess Sonic has a deal on random nights that you can get 5 burgers for 5 bucks..so one night we undertook the Sonic Challenge. This one was pretty interesting because 5 burgers in under an hour can be quite filling as you may imagine. Really when I think about it, this might have been one of the best challenges because I am a fan of Sonic..........and their commercials....

The absolute worst challenge ever known to man is the Salt Challenge.
I can thank Mr. Justin Cornelius Coaxum for this dandy of a challenge. He claims that it is impossible to swallow about a soda cap full of salt and keep it down for 10 minutes. So naturally I wanted to prove this gentleman wrong......wrong choice.....
I actually get the salt down (which is a challenge in itself) and I'm feeling fine...but within mere minutes my stomach is raging war with itself AND LOSING!
Imagine if you will an insane naval battle or some sort between battleships in the ocean except the ships are all the food I had just had to eat, stomach acid, and table salt and the sea is the inside of my stomach. (dumb analogy)
The salt forced it's way back out of my throat and I unleashed an all-out assault of vomit on the grass (I think I killed the grass...I felt bad) It wasn't good
The last and final challenge that made me a legend at Shop 'N Save was the Ice Cream Sandwich Challenge.
One day, way back when I was a courtesy clerk (official title for a cart pusher...made us feel important) I claimed (bad idea) I could eat a whole box of ice cream sandwiches in a standard Shop 'N Save break (15 minutes...definite weak sauce) I started eating and before I knew it a crowd had gathered to cheer me on to victory (actually it was like 4 people and 2 of them were there because they were on break...ouch)
I got about 9 sandwiches down out of the box of 12 and slammed into the wall...my fingers were freezing...my nose was running..my stomach was raging....labored breathing...I was struggling mightily....it was not a pretty scene my friends.
Somehow I managed to pull through and triumphantly chowed down almost 2,000 calories in 15 minutes (BOOYAH!!!!) and I was proud of myself for some reason....I had dominated those frozen treats with the ferocity no man has ever seen...........until like 2 years later when my brother Jamison ate 13........burn
Wow and on a side note...I'm sitting here in the computer lab and I think the dude sitting down the row just farted and crop dusted everybody as he walked out (I'm slightly impressed he'd do that in public).....I felt that it was necessary to put in here..........................................maybe I shouldn't have